It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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