Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
