Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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