I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
