i may or may not be watching the land before time
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
