census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
