OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize