brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
