If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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