His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
