I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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