Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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