Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
