Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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