I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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