it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
