You made me cry and you don't even care
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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