that's an acceptable place to lick
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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