come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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