If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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