He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
