well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
