Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
