The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
