Do you still have your period?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
