Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
