Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
