Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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