ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
