Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
