Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he fucked my hip out of place.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
