So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
