if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize