I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
