I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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