I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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