i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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