look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
