Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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