The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
