Your mouth is God's brothel.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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