Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
