Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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