She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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