Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
