Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
