if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
