I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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