Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
