Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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