she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
