apparently the secret to your success is patron
love makes seman taste better
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
