i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
