You can't motorboat a personality
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
