you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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