I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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