But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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