I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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