weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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