Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
