Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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